You know how some DB‘s say “that’s what she/he said…” at the end of anything people say? Lately I have had an urge to say “go fuck yourself” after everything people say. I think it is hilarious. The truth is I am always smiling and nice to people so I think if I dropped the F-bomb every once in a while it would shock the shit out of people… Here is an example…
Here is an exchange between a big-wig at my job that I know does not like me for shit:
Her: Cute shoes… Are they new?
Me: **smiles** Thank you, these old things….
What I really wanted to say was:
Go fuck yourself…
Partly because it would have been hilarious but seriously, why the fuck is she studying my feet like that and we really don’t speak so I know she doesn’t know what the fuck I have on EVER… Okay now, we are getting off topic.
Here are some other examples where I wanted to say it:
Thirsty Man Outside Metro: Smile Beautiful… You are too pretty to look so serious.
Me: Go fuck yourself.
…
Begging-ass Lady: Street Sense, would you like to buy an issue of street sense. Please get an issue today.
Me: Go fuck yourself.
…
Temp-that-has-been-at-my-office-entirely-too-long: Are you interested in jewelry? I am selling some at my desk.
Me: Double fuck yourself.
That’s about it. They are just as funny said in my head as I would never want to hurt anyone’s feelings… Try it sometime… but don’t laugh out-loud, the jig would be up!
